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As you all know by now (I feel like I say it in every story), I live in Florida. The funny thing about Florida is that even if your house is one block from the ocean, most people have a swimming pool in their yard. Don’t ask me why. What can I say… we like water. And in my defense, I didn’t build the pool — it came with the house. But I’m not going to lie… I love it!
My favorite thing is to wake up, walk outside and jump in the pool — in my birthday suit — for a refreshing early-morning swim. It’s better than coffee. You may be thinking What are you, some kind of exhibitionist? Uh, no... the pool area is surrounded by tall hedges, so I have complete privacy… or so I thought.
I'm not going to lie | This is a common way to say TO BE (PERFECTLY) HONEST...
This is the best lasagna I've ever had. Did you make it?
— I ain't going to lie... I made it, but it's my brother's recipe.
it came with the house | This simply means that the pool was already there and included in the sale of the house. We also use this phrasing when talking about what accompaniments or sides come with a dish in a restaurant. The fried chicken comes with french fries and coleslaw.
uh, no... | This collocation is used in response to a mistaken assumption in something of a defensive tone. As such, it's also often used as a sarcastic response to what you consider a stupid or insulting question.I saw a syringe in your brother's room. Is he on heroin or something?— Uh, no... he's diabetic.
don't ask me why | This is simply another way of saying I have no idea why that is.
in one's birthday suit | This is a cute way of saying nude. The idea is that it refers to be wearing the same thing you were wearing when you were born... nothing.
...or so I thought | This expression is used to express that you assumed something and, as it turns out, you were wrong. A longer way of saying the same thing is ...at least that's what I thought.
I didn't build the pool | Oftentimes, we talk about things we do or don't do when we mean having someone else do it. Here, for example, I obviously wouldn't build a pool myself — I'd have a company do it. But that's understood by the context. Similarly we say things like I cut my hair or I fixed my teeth.When I saw my graduation picture, I hated the way I looked, so I used my graduation money to fix my teeth, do my nose and get rid of the bags under my eyes.
one block from the ocean | A block is the distance from one street corner to the other. When we measure distances in terms of a block away, that refers to the distance from your house to the next corner, considered a short distance in most cases.
What can I say | This expression is used to preface something that you have no explanation for — it just is what it is. In the above example, I make no excuses for why we have swimming pools so close to the ocean except that, well, we like water.Daddy, did I just read in the paper that you donated $1M to build the new school library?— What can I say... I love kids.
hedge | A fence or boundary around a property or part of a property, made up of a line of bushes growing very close together.
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