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When I met him at the gate, he was already laughing. By that point, I was more than a little irked by the whole situation, so I was like What in the world can be so funny?
He says, “I just talked to Mr. Nelson, your neighbor. And I told him, ‘Frankly, I’m a little perplexed as to how on earth you could possibly see anything over there with all those tall hedges.’ So he’s like, ‘Come with me,’ and he takes me to the third floor of his house — amazing house, by the way — and we go out onto the terrace. I looked over here and couldn’t see anything but hedges. So he’s like ‘No, you have to use these’… and hands me a pair of binoculars, and says, ‘...and you need to climb that trellis’!”
trellis | A frame made out of wood or metal, used to support climbing plants.
irk | This is a handy verb that refers to slightly irritating someone with something persistent like smacking one's lips or an annoying laugh. Or it can refer to a pesky situation, like the one in this story, that's just frustrating because it makes no sense and you're tired of dealing with it. Note that when someone is irked, they're not exactly angry; it's more like something has "set their teeth on edge" and they're uncomfortable and irritable.
Ugh, I wish you wouldn't talk to me with your mouth full; it irks me to no end.
I told him | The verb is stressed here to emphasize and confirm that he did in fact say something that needed to be said. For instance, here, the officer didn't wait for an explanation from the neighbor; he came right out and told him what was confusing him.
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